i will forever be dumbfounded by the SHEER SIZES of some prehistoric animals i mean
holy
friggin
shit
i still think HORSES are big but
would you
just
cOULD YOU IMAGINE
FUCK
god yes gigantic prehistoric beasties are the best
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
I’M JUST GONNA TITLE THIS ONE ‘THE EXPERIMENT’.
WHAT IS AIR?
YOU GOT YOUR SEX ADDICTS
YOU GOT YOUR GEEKS
YOU GOT YOUR FOREIGNERS
YOU GOT YOUR ALIENS
YOU GOT YOUR BASKETBALL PLAYERS
YOU GOT THE PEOPLE WHO THINK YOU’RE HIGH WHEN YOU’RE JUST FROM TUMBLR
YOU GOT YOUR VOLDEMORTS
YOU GOT YOUR INDIAN PEOPLE WHO THINK OMEGLE IS A GAME SHOW
AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST YOU GOT YOUR FELLOW TUMBLR TROLLS
YOU GOT YOUR CAPTAIN OBVIOUS
(via scrapbookbeta)
so my 16 year old brother made himself a balloon son and kept a photo album of their day together here it is
Ladies and gentlemen, I present to you my boyfriend and his outstanding level of maturity.
I want to have a bf just like that
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
who decided being gay wasn’t manly? gay sex is technically twice as manly, you are literally doubling the amount of men in it
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
- fetuses do not think
- they do not “scream out” when they are aborted
- they have no brain function and no nerve endings until long after the deadline for a legal abortion
- they aren’t “sad” when you abort them
- they do not “realize what is happening”
And these aren’t my beliefs, they’re scientific facts
(via necrophilofthefuture)
partybarackisinthehousetonight:
*cops knock on door* “open up the door we smell marijuana” WHOEVER SMELT IT DEALT IT i scream at the door. *long pause* *police apologize* *muffled sound of handcuffs clicking outside*
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
my dad accidentally butt-dialed me while on a date with my mum
they have the weirdest fucking conversations omfg
important edit: NEVER MIND THEY STARTED TALKING SMACK ABOUT ME. WHAT BITCHES. THEY SAID I EAT ALL OF THE COCOA PUFFS WHENEVER WE GET THEM.
WELL, SAY GOOD BYE TO ALL OF YOUR COCOA PUFFS NOW YOU CUNTS.
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
Quotes from the Harry Potter Books [28/50]
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
when i was in kindergarten i had this babysitter who cooked the best steak i’d ever had and i’d always ask what it was and she said “people” every time and i’d laugh and ask what it really was and she’d just reply “people” and i found out in first grade that she got arrested and was sentenced to 50 years-life in prison
and that’s the story about how my babysitter was basically hannibal lecter and i was will graham for a whole year
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
one of my main nicknames courtesy of my family is “emmy” and my uncle was like “what if you marry a guy named anthony whose nickname is tony then you’d be emmy and tony”
and then “what if his last name was award”
and then my cousin put in “if you have a son you could name him oscar”
emmy, tony, and oscar award
oh my god
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
My dad stopped expressing disappointment in me years ago and just sort of gets tired now
(via fatpeoplemakemehappy)
Boston Bruins Strong
